next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
