Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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