She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
