You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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