Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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