Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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