Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
