I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
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Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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