I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
