I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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