NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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