who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
