It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
