I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize