this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
