dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
