she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
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My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
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Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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