Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
