mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
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She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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