my vag is so smooth its legendary
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
