At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
