when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
