You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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