and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
