He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
