North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
