Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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