i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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