Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
