i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
