i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
