I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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