If that was your dad, he is hot
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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