Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
