i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the day after is always just damage control
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
