I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
