just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
my poor anus
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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