See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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