I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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fuck your aforementioned shoe
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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