Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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