Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.