i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
