I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
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Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
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I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?