This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.