i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
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I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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