Nicole vs. Life
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.