The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
