Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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