you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
