i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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