By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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