just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
