She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
