that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
