that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize