Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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