I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
nutella sex= disaster
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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