So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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