What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
