Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
