So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
