i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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