he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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