He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
