That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
