I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Houston, we have a squirter
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
