just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
